My 81 year old Mum lives in the same house as my brother who is single and recently retired. Since he retired she’s making his life very difficult in so much as she’s become very dependent on him and seems to resent him having any sort of life that doesn’t include her. If he goes out to meet friends and she’s left behind she goes into huge tantrums but when we suggest she attends a day center to meet people of her own age she refuses point blank. Has anyone any ideas of how we can move this forward as I’m stumped.
get your brother to go to the day centre with your mum for the first few visits. a good day centre should allow this. dont tell her it for her benefit. ask her if she will accompany brother as HE wants to go. she can then slowly be coaxed into the activities and she will probably love it once she gets used to the environment and makes friends there. make sure she goes once or twice a week for at least 6 weeks. she should be starting to settle after 3-4 weeks.
think your brother has to be very firm to be kind – maybe plan ahead with her and say what he will do each week in advance and stick to it, if he does anything extra it will be a bonus! Needs to act to get things in his control ASAP.